Punishments

There are three standard punishments in uk.rec.cycling:

a visit from the paving slab fairy, reserved sartorial offences such as wearing bibshorts cut off their goolies shoot them and burn the bodies

The first of these is explained (more or less) in the bibshorts mini-faq. The Paving Slab Fairy can be recognised from her celeste tutu (matching Gino, her Bianchi) and is not often seen outside Norfolk. The second comes from a Not The Nine O'Clock News sketch in which a right-wing "hang 'em and flog 'em" type and a social worker are interviewed about antosicial behaviour and reach the surprising consensus that the best thing to do was "cut off their goolies". It's the only language these people understand. The third is, as with so many picturesque phrases around the place, from the keyboard of Dave "Legs Larry" Larrington. A recent variation is the use of the Lighthouse Family as kindling. So, an particularly egregious troll might be met by the cry: "Gun! Petrol!  Matches!  Lighthouse Family!"