Nicked Fixed

(with apologies to M Flanders, D Swann and WA Mozart)

I once had a whim and I had to obey it

To build up a fixer from second-hand stock

I molished it up and I started to ride it

In spite of the missus who begged me to stop

"you'll blow your knees, and anyway what do you want it for

Ascent's a breeze, but on the downhill you'll fall off!"

No freewheeling sound

As the wheels go round

And then you forget and hit the ground!

Oh the hours I had to spend

Before I mastered it in the end!

But that was yesterday and just today I had a most terrible shock

There was the lock but the bike itself was missing

Oh where can it have gone?

Haven't you, hasn't anyone seen my fixed?

Oh where can it have gone?

What a blow! Now I know

I'm unable to ride with Club Velo!

Who swiped my bike?

I'll bet you a quid

Somebody did

Knowing I'd built up a fixer and wanted to ride it

Afraid of my talent and awed at my form

For early today to my utter dismay

It had vanished away like the dew in the morn

I've lost that fixed, I know I was riding it yesterday

I've lost that fixed, lost that fixed, found that fixed. nicked!

There's not much hope of getting it back though I'd willingly pay a reward.

I know some hearty folk whose party joke's pretending to ride with the tour

Gone away! Gone away! Was it Fabby who took it away?

Will you kindly return that bike

Where ifs the devil who pinched my bike

I shall tell the police! I want that fixer back

I miss its track stands more and more and more

With a freewheel cycling has much less appeal

I built up a fixer I wanted to ride it

Displaying my power when riding uphill

But early today to my utter dismay it had totally vanished away

I trained on the turbo and wanted to ride it but somebody took it away

I trained on the turbo and was longing to ride it but somebody took it away

My clubmate's on his Galaxy

I'll soon make him look up to me

I'll take up the Muni, you'll see!