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Generic Helmet Post
Here it is, the all-purpose generic helmet thread post, courtesy of Norman Carr and rec.humor.funny

It would appear that the 'Great Helmet Debate' is not going to go 
away in a hurry, so may I therefore suggest that in the future anyone 
wishing to post on this subject makes use of the following all-
purpose form to register their opinion.  Simply edit as required 
then post, no more composing erudite rebuttals of the other chaps 
point of view necessary!

Handy helmet opinion registration form:

[I / my (boy/girl)friend / child / cat / (other) _______ ] [was / were] 
[cycling / driving / walking the dog] the other day.  It was 
[light / dark / sunny / raining / snowing] when [I / they] collided with a 
[car / bus / truck / other cyclist / tree / the ground / item of street 
furniture / (other)] ________ which hit [me / them] [from behind / head 
on / from the side / from above / from below]. [I / they] [was / were]
[travelling at ____ Km/h / ____ mph / stationary] at the time and [I / they]
landed [head first / _____ first]. The ______ which hit [me / them] was
[trying to avoid an accident / silly / stupid / drunk / asleep / insane].
There was [nothing / something] [I / they] could do to avoid the collision
and it was [partly / entirely] [my / their] fault.

[I / they] suffered [no injuries / minor head injuries / minor injuries (not 
head) / permanent disablement / brain damage / death].  Boy, am I glad
[I / they] [was / were] [wearing / not wearing] a helmet.

I think this experience makes it obvious that it [should / should not] 
be a legal requirement for [everyone / nobody / people below the age of 
consent / experienced cyclists / novice cyclists / drivers / pedestrians
/ people walking dogs / dogs / bus drivers / people with inadequate
medical insurance / trees] to [always / sometimes / ocassionally / never]
wear a helmet when [on the road / off road / popping down to the shops /
in the supermarket / cooking / using stairs / in bed].

Furthermore, I [have / do not have] the statistics to prove it. Thus, 
anyone who disagrees with me is [free to do as they please / entitled 
to their opinion / misguided / stupid / mad / a danger to democratic
civilisation].

I hope you all find this a useful contribution to the debate.

Happy cycling [with / without] helmet,

© 2008, Guy Chapman. | Print this page | Feedback | Search This version created 05/02/2004

This page is out of date and preserved only for convenience. The current version of the website is at http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk