Upritis Wedgii is a newly recognised condition affecting certain cyclists. The symptoms include:
- wrist pain
- shoulder pain
- neck pain
- back pain
- saddle sores
A number of palliative measures have been produced over the years, including gel gloves and gel saddles, but these have only ever served to mask the symptoms, not cure the problem.
New research from the University of Falmouth has shown that a permanent cure can be effected. There are a few mild side effects, such as inane grins and the tendency to utter "rebel yells" when travelling downhill, but those treated in the main report complete satisfaction (except when climbing long hills) and no return of their symptoms.
The cure employs vehiculus humanpower recumbenti, a naturally-occuring orthotic isolated and refined by a number of craft natural remedy companies. By replacing the traditional upwrong bicycle with one of these devices, and after a short period of adjustment for the growth of new "bent leg muscless", the rider is left with no recurrence of former problems. |