My garden currently has no recognisable shed. That's easily verified by reference to exhibit 1: the view down the garden from the verandah...
See? No shed. Trailer, fine specimen of Viburnum Tinus,well spotted, we planted that about ten years ago as a teeny shrublet - those things grow quicker than you think! Climbing frame, yes, shed, no. So does that make me an impostor in Ye Shedde? Not at all! For shedliness is not all in the shed (or even the Shed): the mere fact of possessing an ammunition box full of Dexion bolts is almost enough on its own, but I have a secret, which with the aid of Michael's cheap and cheerful digital camera I shall now reveal to you all...
See? Cunningly concealed beneath the hand-crafted splendour of our verandah (all our own work, made of Archers' best decking and more tannalised 4x2 than you can poke a length of tannalised 4x2 at) is a shed. And being us, it's a bike shed. The Sun King and the climbing hyde park ranger are doing well this year, aren't they? The Sun King has only been there a couple of years at most, it's really taking off now.
Well secured against toerags (and part of the main building besides), the water marks are because I haven't yet scrounged a bit of guttering from neighbour John who runs Reading Guttering Services. I will do as soon as I've found the Round Tuit which is lurking at the back somewhere. Note the stairs, built by hand and mainly by guesswork. The bottom step is, alas, not quite right - the rise should be 1/4" less all the way up. I suspect I forgot to allow for the thickness of the wood. And the missing spindles at the top are also waiting for that Round Tuit. It's a genuine Shed shed alright.
The interior is deceptively spacious - around here flats smaller than this sell for £100,000 and more. You can't quite see the lawn mower (too gloomy) or the cement mixer tucked away in the wing behind the steps (a shed with a machinery wing - there's posh!). You can see the glint of stainless steel garden implements on the right, secured by hooks and a bungee. Splendid.
Proof for those who dared to dount that yes, I did get round to connecting up the electrickery, even if the outside lights are still not finished and I haven't quite decided where to put the sockets. You can see where the car mounted bike rack lives. This was taken on a different day from t'others, so the Claud Buutler Super Dalesman has its wheels (they were with Bob being fettled while the rest was took).
From the "Intelligent Use of Space" department comes this image showing the stowage for the roof carrier for the triplet, the other roof bars, the 4-bike rack, handle of the mower, the strimmer, the folding workstand (just inside the door on the left) and assorted rakes and flags stowed in the rafters. Between the rafters are sheets of exterior ply covered in roofing felt; the rafters are capped with zinc sheet, over-width and rolled over so that water runs down the middle of the plywood sheets. These are, of course, pitched, running from the top of the rafters at one end to the bottom at the other. So any water which runs between the decking planks which rest on top of the rafters is safely drained away rather than being dripped on all those bicycles.
Behind the green door (and if you sing that inna Shakey stylee I will have to hit you) is a wood store full of Useful Pieces of Wood. And the extraction system for the underfloor computer cupboard. And some rather dodgy plumbing that I'd rather not talk about now if it's all the same with you. So there you have it: my shed. It's not big, but it is tolerably clever. |